what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
