Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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