i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
