And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
