Whod you bang
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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