3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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