how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
