We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
