Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

Fav 10 8258 1097
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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

Fav 13 3396 1144
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(913): View more from Kansas

season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

Fav 33 5006 1300
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(540): View more from Virginia

Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

Fav 20 8434 2012
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

Fav 14 3494 2007
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(540): View more from Virginia

It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.

Fav 0 747 946
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(810): View more from Michigan

I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.

Fav 4 25 91
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(815): View more from Illinois

I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...

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