in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
