this just has baby written all over it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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