Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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