You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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