next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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