i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
