Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
