She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize