We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
