I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
