I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize