Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
