She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize