To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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