I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
