I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
