he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
