But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
