They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
