Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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