Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
