hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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