You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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