I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
