i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
