we have officially lost it.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
