Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
