then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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