During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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