My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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