when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
