i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I am naked and annoyed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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