It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she peed on how many people?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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