Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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