what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
