covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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