I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
