and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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