Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
