I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
