Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
