D3 body, D1 cock
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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