No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
