I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
