is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
