You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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