youre lurking in front of me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
