There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize