I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
