Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
