Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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