What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
