You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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