I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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