I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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