so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
