sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
