Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
